In life we or do I say I, think of our’s emotions before my own.
Learning this about about myself I think is time for me to start thinking about myself first.
someone told me putting ours before yourself isn’t safe, you are waiting to get yourself hurt.
I can’t help who I am, but I have learned to love me first before anyone.
I gave chances to people who have hurt me so deep and scattered me in pieces that it hurts me even more knowing how selfish others are.
I ask myself don’t they see the pain I have?
People like this don’t deserve people like me. or maybe GOD has other plans what ever it is I did my part of allowing the our person to heal from their mistakes.
now is my turn to live again or is this selfish. Am I allowed to love and to smile again to enjoy life again.
Can someone understand what we need in life?
Is it selfish to want to love and be loved the right way?
Growing up all I ever seen was my mother play both rows, mom and dad hey ! I can’t complain.
My mother would never show her pain
She said showing emotions May kill you. Allowing others to see through you makes you weak.
So I became that mom , why? well life
Man ! I was the most humblest loveable caring women ever.
Two failed marriages, shattered into so many pieces. I showed my girls how to never show emotions.
Who said I would be dealing with a situation so hard that all I do is show my feelings.
Crying for every memory
Every smile
Man !
Our own children would makes us double think.
We raise them to be the best they can be, always showed them to never use the word I can’t .
For what !
Society has taken over in so many ways.
The pandemic has discontinued our children from feeling
from expressing what they feel
From understanding what’s right and what’s wrong .
Losing control of what we as parents can only have.
Our children aren’t afraid of death
Of pain
The fear we once had growing up, this generation don’t know or understand
Being a church girl knowing who my lord is was my fear.
Fear of what he may do.
Suicide is real
Suicidal thoughts are real
Depression is real
Everything I’ve been through can’t compared to hearing my child wanting to give up in life.
Not being able to fix her
Not even loving her can fix it.
Seeing her face the pain she’s in not being able to just take her.
Understanding that I have to just let go and listen.
We as parents don’t know all answers. All I know I have to be strong. I have to make sure she don’t give up. I also have to remember others may have it worst.
I’m blessed that I able to see her now.
That I still have her.
Her smile gives me hope that she’s going to be ok.
Enjoying her conversations
Enjoying her stories
Her showing me her pictures
My heart melted of joy.
I pray for my child and every other child that’s going through this same situation May the lord cover them with his arms and protect them from any negative thoughts from the pain they feeling May the lord tell them in their dreams that they are loved from God they are Gods children.
In Jesus name I pray 🙏 Amén
Lord continue to make mothers like me stronger to move forward to have faith in your victory because you can fix this.
we are super moms we may fall but we pick ourselves back up and keep it moving. Wipe our tears of pain and crack when we say we fine.
You must be logged in to post a comment.